In my younger days before, I had things like a mortgage, credit card debt and car payments, I enjoyed a level of financial extravagance that rivaled or perhaps exceeded the GNP of a small developing nation. It was in those bygone days of yore that I came to the conclusion that money can buy happiness. I was repeatedly chastised as being shallow, materialistic and morally bankrupt. All of which were and still are true, but no one can deny I was pretty freakin happy. That’s not to say I’m unhappy now, but I think I can safely say that I would be happier right now if someone gave me a billion dollars.
Sure, there are plenty of people with lots of money that are unhappy. And, by the same token, it’s perfectly possible to be happy and poor, although I think it’s probably a lot more difficult. Let’s just say I have more sympathy for the man who struggles to put food on the table than the one who doesn’t want to pay alimony to his fifth ex-wife. But why, oh why do we have to blame they money? Poor, defenseless money, that is really just there to make our lives easier. All it wants to do is buy you a nice dinner at the end of a long day, or maybe a helicopter to deploy an Aston Martin from your yacht after a bad breakup.
Are these solutions temporary? Yes. Are they shallow and materialistic? Absolutely. Would we be horrible people if we purchased Aston Martin-toting helicopters instead of giving that money to the poor? Debatable. Would we be happy to have Aston Martin-toting helicopters? Well I certainly would but if you want to get the model with the Ferrari instead that’s a matter of taste.
There are of course things that money cannot buy. Like love for example. But guess what kids, poverty doesn’t provide you love either. Personally I’d prefer waiting for Prince Charming from the terrace of my penthouse sipping vintage champagne. Also I would like to point out that money can provide you with a personal trainer, cosmetic surgery, spa treatments and all those other little things in life that keep us looking good for potential mates.
And before you start climbing up on that soapbox, full of moral indignation, let me add that money is the reason we work. Ergo, if you have money you do not need to work and thus have more free time. Which will allow you to enrich yourself intellectually and culturally. Go ahead and go back to college, learn a foreign language, travel the world, and, if you must, do some charity work. For the record, when clothes cost enough they are classified as art, and by displaying such art you enrich the world. See? We’re helping others already.
If you need further proof that money can buy happiness, let’s look at President Obama. Mr. Obama was extremely popular coming into office and he seemed to be pretty happy to do so. Unfortunately because he is not, as far as I know, in possession of magical powers, he has not been able to fix the economy in what most Americans consider a timely manner (immediately). So, the economy is bad, people don’t have money, the President’s approval rating plummets, and suddenly poor Barak is unhappy. I bet if he gave us all a million dollars we would love him again.
What’s that you say? There are lots of unhappy rich people? Sadly, that is all too true. But it’s because they are not using their wealth properly. Here is my advice to unhappy rich people: If you’re feeling blue, go buy something and see if you don’t feel better. If that doesn’t work than kindly give me your money so that at least someone can enjoy it.
